SPAM SPAM SPAM

[elektro80]

[elektro80]

Man:
You sit here, dear.

Wife:
All right.

Man:
Morning!

Waitress:
Morning!

Man:
Well, what've you got?

Waitress:
Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

Vikings:
Spam spam spam spam...

Waitress:
...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...

Vikings:
Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

Waitress:
...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife:
Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

Wife:
I don't want ANY spam!

Man:
Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife:
THAT'S got spam in it!

Man:
Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Vikings:
Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)

Wife:
Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress:
Urgghh!

Wife:
What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!

Vikings:
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress:
Shut up!

Vikings:
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress:
Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife:
I don't like spam!

Man:
Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

Vikings:
Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress:
Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

Man:
Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress:
You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings:
(Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

[elektro80]

Today's Honorary Subscriber is George A. Hormel (1860-1946), the man who brought us Spam. No, not junk mail -- Spam with a capital S, Spam the food. During the Great Depression, Hormel's company sold 1.5-pound cans of beef stew for only 15 cents, providing an affordable, filling, and nutritious meal for the families of unemployed workers. The beef stew and other "poor man's dishes" (including canned products such as corned beef and cabbage, spaghetti and meat balls, and chili con carne) were highly regarded in those lean years. Authors Joseph J. & Suzy Fucini write:

"Encouraged by the success of its poor man's dishes, Hormel & Co. introduced an economical pork loaf in 1937. The canned meat ran into a major problem before it even got to market, however, when the U.S. government would not allow the company to call it ham, because it was made from pork shoulder instead of the hindquarters.

"In an effort to come up with a substitute name for the humble luncheon meat, Princeton-educated Jay Hormel turned to his country-club circle of friends. The younger Hormel threw a party at his 170-acre Austin estate and asked guests to 'pay' for cocktails by suggesting a name for the new product every time they ordered a drink. 'Along about the third or fourth drink they began showing some imagination,' the executive later recalled. It was Kenneth Daigneau, a visiting New York radio actor who suggested the name that was eventually chosen -- Spam.

"Like its predecessors, inexpensive Spam found a ready market in depression America. Sales of the proletarian pork dish were greatly aided by an advertising campaign featuring George Burns and Gracie Allen, which urged people to try a "Spamwich" or "Spambled eggs" for an economical lunch."

[elektro80]

[Cyxeris]

Don't make me go home and listen to Fresh Aire V tonite.

Cyx

[elektro80]

OK, I won´t.

[Cyxeris]

There's coming for ya, Elektro...


House Passes Anti-Spam Bill
Sat Nov 22, 7:25 AM ET

By David McGuire, washingtonpost.com Staff Writer

The first federal law against unsolicited commercial e-mail is a step closer to reality today after the House of Representatives passed a bill that would punish spammers with fines and jail time.

The House voted 392-5 in favor of the bill, which clears it for a vote in the Senate. If the Senate approves the bill, it should reach the White House early next week, said Ken Johnson, a spokesman for House Energy and Commerce Committee Chairman W.J. "Billy" Tauzin (R-La.).

"Five years ago spam was a nuisance and now it's a nightmare," said long-time spam fighter Rep. Heather Wilson (news, bio, voting record) (R-N.M.). "I think today is a great victory for consumers in America. For the first time Americans who use the Internet and get e-mail will have the right to say ... take me off your list."

The legislation would empower the Federal Trade Commission to establish a national "do-not-spam" list similar to the anti-telemarketing "do-not-call" list, and it would impose stiff jail sentences on e-mail marketers who violate the law. The compromise bill would also preempt tougher anti-spam laws already passed by the states.

FTC Chairman Timothy Muris has questioned the feasibility of a do-not-spam registry, saying it would be cumbersome to administer and wouldn't stop rogue spammers from sending unwanted mail.

Nevertheless, Muris today vowed to work with Congress as well as state and federal authorities to enforce the bill.

"I appreciate the changes that the Congress made in the final bill to provide the Commission with useful tools that will enhance our ability to bring law enforcement actions against spam," Muris said in a prepared statement.

The legislation would make it a crime -- punishable by up to five years in jail -- for e-mail marketers to mask their identities by falsifying their return addresses.

Stiffening an anti-spam bill approved by the Senate last month, the compromise version would double the largest fines that could be imposed against spammers from $1 million to $2 million and remove a loophole that would have allowed marketers to dodge key provisions of the bill in cases where they have existing relationships with consumers, said Jennifer O'Shea, spokeswoman for Sen. Conrad Burns (news, bio, voting record) (R-Mont.).

Anti-spam advocates are unhappy because the deal struck today would invalidate tougher state anti-spam laws. California and Washington, for example, allow people to sue spammers, whereas the federal bill does not. California's law also allows fines against spammers of up to $1,000 per e-mail message with a cap at $1 million.

Rep. John Dingell (news, bio, voting record) (D-Mich.), the top Democrat on the Energy and Commerce Committee, opposed the state preemption language and supported giving consumers the right to sue. Nevertheless, he defended the bill.

"This is a good bill. There are things that we could have done that are a little better, but this is a piece of legislation that is going to solve a concern of the American people," he said.

Some anti-spam experts also are skeptical of the congressional effort because it caters to groups like the Direct Marketing Association, which they consider to be not much different from fly-by-night anonymous spammers.

The DMA, which for many years opposed anti-spam legislation, has been eager to get a federal bill on the books to protect their members from an increasingly thorny set of state-level anti-spam laws. The DMA supported the bill, but raised some concerns with the do-not-spam list, which they feared would harm "legitimate" marketers, while doing nothing to stop less scrupulous marketers.

Rather than telling marketers to stop sending unsolicited messages, the bill creates a legal framework for e-mail marketers, and that sends the wrong message, said John Mozena, the co-founder of the Coalition Against Unsolicited Commercial Email (CAUCE).

"The problem today is not that there's too much unregulated spam, the problem is that there's too much spam in general," Mozena said.

[Cyxeris]

"Elektro80 and an unidentified accomplice demonstrate their enthusiasm for Hormel's SPAM meat produkt80"

Cyx

[mosc]

I have a close relative who married a Japanese-American. They serve SPAM Sushi, among other things. Quite tasty.

[Cyxeris]

SPAM Sushi? Perhaps I am naive, but that sounds like a serious oxymoron.

Cyx

[seraph]

Spam Club Application Form

Oh yes please, oh thank you, oh thank you. Oh dear sweet people enroll me at once amongst the list of the honourable and blessed members of The Spam Club.

[elektro80]

No more mr. nice guy...
Spam rage vigilante really didn't want a larger penis




http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/34147.html